Today just carries on from another day and all the internal wranglings to go with it.
So tired of waking in this restless state. Just blocking out the world today....
and yet can I ??
I am running away from facing difficulties, from making decisions, facing facts and making the necessary changes to move on, yet I'm scared or so I think.
I am constantly reminding myself of what my Counsellor say's to me "Your child is acting out",
"You need to take control".
I don't understand
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I understand.
We all have "inner children" - these are parts that form when we are children and stay with us forever. It's the part of us that never grows up.
When your child is acting out, you are reacting to a present situation in a strong way because of a past experience. You are letting the past play through in the present.
I understand because I do it all the time.
I understand because this is what I am working so hard to work out in my own life.
Imagine if you could only look at each situation as a separate thing, not as the fiftieth time someone has said something or the exact same thing you heard last week... Imagine if each event was entirely separate and not affected by anything else.
It's okay, I can't imagine it either.
But, that is what I'm trying to do.
I'm trying not to yell at my husband because my father used to behave the same way I see him behaving. I am trying hard not to react to my father of today - the 85 year old man - because of the father of the past.
Hope you are feeling better. Not sure if this is helpful, but I wanted to say something.
Know I'm here and reading. You are heard.
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